THIS WEEK IN TRADITIONAL CHRISTIAN MARRIAGE

My favorite story of the week:

The lead singer of a successful Christian heavy-metal band told at least two people at a gym recently that he wanted to have his wife killed, a prosecutor said in court Thursday.

Timothy Lambesis, 32, of the band As I Lay Dying, met with a person he believed was a hit man -- but was actually an undercover detective -- and handed him an envelope containing $1,000 cash, his wife's address and the gate security codes. He told the agent he wanted his wife "gone," said Deputy District Attorney Claudia Grasso....

Well, he told his wife while they were breaking up that he no longer believed in God, so I'm sure the Jesus fans will tell us that this guy wasn't one of theirs anymore, and God's failure to give him strength was his own damn fault, or the fault of Satan becaue he and his band hung out with that Satanist Ozzy Osbourne years ago.
Me, I'm blame Jerry Falwell, or online learning, or both. According to Lambesis's Wikipedia page, he

majored in Religious Studies at Liberty University, a private Christian college that offers classes online.

Liberty University was founded by Falwell in 1971.

Or maybe we should blame the dietary supplements?

The wife ... filed for divorce in September, citing "irreconcilable differences" and alleging that her husband had become obsessed with bodybuilding and going to the gym.

Yes -- when Lambesis wasn't alternately professing and losing his faith in a heavily metallic way, he was either at the gym or working on a gym-related side project: Austrian Death Machine, an Arnold Schwarzenegger-themed metal band.





God (or Satan, or testosterone) works in mysterious ways.